Antoinette Stapley
Antoinette Stapley is the wife of a fallen soldier. Her husband, First Sergeant Tracy Stapley, died by suicide while on assignment in Qatar, leaving behind his wife, a son and a daughter.
Surviving Family, The Stapleys
He Assured us Everything Was Going to Be All Right
Antionette and her husband, Tracy, had what many consider to be the all-American family. With a son, Trase, who would soon enter the Military Academy at West Point, and a daughter, Kennedy, who was passionate about dance, the family of four was always busy with soccer practices, ballet lessons, birthday parties and family adventures.
Tracy served in the military and often traveled abroad on assignment. Antionette remembers, “The night before his last departure, I watched him pack his green duffel bag. The next morning, we woke up early, got the kids settled into the backseat and drove to the airport. When Tracy got to the top of the escalator after getting through security, he turned to give us a familiar smile and a peace sign—his way of reassuring us that everything would be alright.”
Over the next few months, Tracy remained deployed and missed several important events, including the moment when Antionette dropped their son off at the United States Military Academy at West Point.
As they drove to the airport to return home, Tracy FaceTimed them.
“We talked about our future, his deployment, and our children.”
Three Knocks on The Door
Even while Tracy was deployed, they stayed in close communication. She could expect to receive responses from him within a day.
She remembered the only emails he did not reply to. She tried to push her worries aside. “I figured he was just busy. He had a lot going on.”
“As my daughter and I were getting ready to leave for ballet practice, I suddenly heard three knocks on the door.”
What was on the other side of the door would change her life forever.
“I was met by two Army officers in their dress blues. My heart sank,” she remembered. “All I could think about was which one of my boys had been hurt.”
The officers asked her to go inside the house and sit down. They requested she send her daughter to her bedroom. Then they said the words every military spouse dreads.
"Your husband, First Sergeant Tracy Stapley, has died."
She wasn’t sure she could make it
The officers couldn't provide details about the circumstances. But they did say that Tracy had committed suicide.
“I sat there in disbelief.” She shook her head. “No. Not my husband. He was a suicide prevention trainer and knew the signs.”
In the days following Tracy’s funeral, Antionette struggled to find her footing. “I felt lost, unsure of who I was or what I wanted to do, and I questioned whether I wanted to continue living. I would drop my daughter off at school and then return home to sit in my closet and cry.”
Finding new friends who feel like family
Months after Tracy’s death, Antionette was invited to attend our “Disney in December” with her daughter. “We made friends—friends who understood our situation. We felt a sense of family, knowing that the Gary Sinise Foundation recognized what we were going through. Their volunteers and employees wrapped their arms around us, providing support during a challenging time.”
“I realized that I could do this. I could raise my children alone. I would do this. Tracy's death wouldn't define me. Nor would it define him. It would not dictate the life I would lead.”
With this glimmer of hope, we were honored to offer Antoinette the opportunity to participate in our Empowerment and Storytelling Workshops, each specifically curated for surviving family members of our fallen heroes.
“The workshops reignited a spark within me. I was ready to embrace life and pursue the things I wanted to do.”
You Can Give Comfort To Families Like Antionette’s
Through your gracious generosity, we are able to provide America’s families of fallen heroes curated support and healing opportunities that are life-changing. After experiencing such devastating loss, it is our honor to stand beside them and offer comfort, reminding them as a nation we will never forget their sacrifices.
“I realized how much of myself I had lost and how much I wanted to rediscover. I wanted to move forward in life, to dream again, and to explore new opportunities.”
Join us. Make your donation today.
